flesh eating bug

No not quite but I have had a few problems with germs making my cuts infected. So I finally went to the doctor and have been given some antibiotics. Along with instructions to wash sheets, towels and my clothes in hot water so as to get rid of the germs.

What is particularly difficult is keeping a positive outlook these past two going on three weeks. The weeks before that I had been going along really strong and making changes to my life for the better- I was motivated and on top of things like housework, educating the girls and my prayer life was the best it had been for a long time. Then his Aunt Erma, then hits sickness and now hits flesh eating bugs (well I know it is a bit dramatic) and I feel it is harder to retain my positive outlook. I haven't given up and I am still fighting to get back on top and you know I think maybe I can see a clearing but boy is it hard.

Its funny how some people have bad days, others have bad weeks, others months, years, decades, lifetimes. We can sweep away a bad day and just get back on with life, but sometimes we can continue to feel sorry for ourselves and our bad day and our day soon moves into a bad week. In battling with depression the one thing that it is important to be aware of is the cycle. And that we need to try to get off it. I have read a good book recently that talks about prayer and that the Bible does have quite a lot of verses that deal with depression especially Psalms. But my favourite is "Depart from me, all you workers of iniquity, for the Lord has heard the voice of my weeping. The Lord has heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer" Psalm 6:8-9

There is a way out from the blackness and by continuing to take it to the Lord- it will get better. Sometimes the prayer might be hollow, but the objective is to keep going because one day you will feel the lightness and you will realise that you have finally handed it over to God.

My last few weeks have not been depressed ones, but they have been difficult. This post is just to remind me that the cycle needs to end before it does happen. We all need to make very conscious decisions of what we are going to do with our day, week, month, life sometimes we forget that it is not us in control but it is God. I can't fix me.

I hope this wasn't too boring, uncomfortable for you to read but I am almost certain that my next post should be back to one of normality, at least what is normal to me.